Bad Luck Genie: An Urban Fantasy Folly Read online

  “What is this place?” Lucy asked, curiosity piquing across the silk.

  “It’s the resting place for one of Rasputin’s bones.” Penny’s tone implied Lucy should have guessed that.

  “I know that,” Lucy snapped. “On the wall. This mural looks…”

  “The sarcophagus needs a key.” I stepped back, frowning at the lid. There was an indentation, but I couldn’t figure out what it needed. “Maybe one of the lanterns opens it?”

  I heard a camera shutter and gritted my teeth. Of course Lucy and Penny would take a selfie again. I glanced at them, but it wasn’t a selfie. Penny scowled at the wall while Lucy took another shot of the mural.

  “Maybe it’s a clue to open the box.” Penny tapped her lip. “There’s something written here, but it’s too worn down to read.”

  “I can’t make it out, either.” Lucy pointed at a teardrop shape on the mural. “But that looks like a pearl doesn’t it?”

  I unhooked one of the genie lamps and fitted it into the indentation, but it was the wrong shape and size. I set the lamp and chain aside. The bottoms to the other lights weren’t the correct shape for the indent.

  “These look like islands… Oh!” Lucy laughed. “The pearl of the orient.”

  “The Philippines,” mother and daughter said together.

  I like it better when we’re in sync like this. Maybe Mom’s idea isn’t so bad after all.

  “Ladies, the sarcophagus.” I rubbed the back of my neck, eyeing the crumbled boxwork on the ground. “How do we know the bone is still here?”

  Lucy bumped my arm as she and Penny crowded around the sarcophagus. I had a strange urge to touch her, probably something stemming from the djinni silk, but her thoughts raced back and forth between the Philippines and Rasputin’s bones. Yeah, it was only the connection the djinni silk provided. I shoved my hands in my pockets.

  Penny pointed at the same depression I’d studied earlier. “Do the lanterns fit in that?”

  “No.”

  “Well, well, well,” a heavily accented voice called behind us. “Look who it is, boys. Goldie. My favorite accountant.”

  I spun and stared up at Sigvald and his four men. Lucy huddled against my side, fear spiking through the silk. As one, the djinnis with Sigvald trained their guns on us.

  Chapter 15

  I clutched Malware’s arm, my heart pounding so hard against my chest I was sure it’d break free any second. No one had ever held a gun on me before, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from it. While I knew clinging to him was a bad idea, I couldn’t let go.

  Sigvald dropped from the platform like it was nothing and approached Mom. “Is Goldie even your real name?”

  “Does it matter?” she said. “I helped—”

  He slapped her, and the crack echoed in the small chamber. I tore my gaze from the gun to Mom. She held her jaw, eyes narrowed, and I recognized the signs of Mama Bear coming out. I shifted to go to her, and goon number one’s gun leveled on me. I gulped, my heart stalling then hammering my ribs. Malware stepped in front of me, and one’s gun drifted away from me to Malware. I didn’t like that any better. I didn’t like any of this. I gripped the back of his sweatshirt.

  Sigvald walked a circle around Mom, inspecting the sarcophagus. “You took my map. You erased my file on Rasputin and stole the money from my Cayman Islands account.”

  I winced. None of that sounded like Mom. He had the wrong person.

  She tucked her thumbs in her belt loops and shrugged. “To be fair, I moved that money for you and raised half of it myself.”

  Goons one through three dropped to the cavern floor, not nearly as gracefully as Sigvald the supervillain. I’d only give them a five out of ten if this were the djinni Olympics.

  Malware snorted.

  Sigvald gestured at us, or at least at Malware. “You’ve been working with that lightlighter all along?”

  Malware tensed. “You’re on the radar, sure. More of a bonus if we catch you, but nothing too important.”

  Sigvald whirled and laughed. He had the perfect villain laugh. Maniacal and deep, and he could laugh for a good minute, too. Goon number four sniggered from his position on the platform.

  “Who’s cowering behind you?” Sigvald glanced my way but didn’t seem to care about me.

  “Our tour guide for the cave.” Mom kept her face impassive, and wouldn’t meet my eyes. “She’s human.”

  “Oh.” Sigvald took a step back, his face taking on a grave expression. “Then I better be careful not to break Lantern canon. Geeze, that would be bad.” He scowled, his scar puckering along the side of his cheek. “Do you think I care about any of that, you two-faced penny pincher?”

  “I can open a door to the Summer Court any time,” Malware said. “Do you really want to press this any further?”

  Goon one froze, but two and three advanced on us.

  Sigvald scowled. “Here? In an amusement park? They’re more likely to slam the door shut than risk iron poisoning.”

  Malware nudged me back to the side of the sarcophagus, still keeping me shielded behind him. I made a mental note to bake him all the pizza pies he wanted if we got out of this alive.

  Mom yanked her gun free and fired, then ducked behind a stone pillar. The gunfire was so loud I screamed and covered my ears. She fired again, taking goon two in the chest. He dropped to the ground. Malware shoved me behind the sarcophagus and my knees knocked against it. He pulled his gun from his ankle holster. Compared to Mom’s and the goons’ weapons, his was tiny.

  He lifted a brow, his cheek dimpling. “Don’t worry. I know how to use it.”

  Oh, I believed him, but a gunfight wasn’t the appropriate time for me to wonder if he was flirting with me. He needed to concentrate. A bullet plugged the wall behind us. I scream-gasped and returned my attention to the bad guys. Goon four fired on Mom, but the pillar protected her. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes. Thank god.

  A stench like broccoli overlooked behind the trashcan permeated from Sigvald. I peered around the sarcophagus. Mom returned fire but didn’t hit goon three once. A moment later, a strong wind ripped through the cavern, rattling the gas lanterns above me.

  Malware popped up from cover, squeezed off a round, and ducked back down. His chest heaved with each inhale. I kept my hands over my ears, blood pounding in my head as loud as the wind howling through the cavern, throwing up dust and small rocks. Even the genie lamp on the ground beside me moved from the gale. He returned fire a few more times, but I didn’t know how he could have accuracy in this windstorm.

  The goons fired back. Bullets cracked against our cover and the wall behind us, grit hitting me. I yelped. Malware rose and fired. He was sweating, and I thought his hands might be trembling. Was I making him nervous? I clapped my cheeks. Calm down, Lucy.

  He aimed, and I braced for another loud rapport. Instead, there was nothing but an empty click.

  “Smoke and mirrors.” He dropped the gun and lunged at goon one. They wrestled over his weapon.

  Mom’s gun made the same hollow click, and the wind died out as fast as it’d been summoned. Sigvald rushed forward, snatched her weapon, and cracked the butt across her face. She soundlessly crumpled to the floor—like all the life in her disappeared. My chest froze, and bile burned the back of my throat.

  “No!” I grabbed the genie lamp on the floor by the chain, swung it over my head hoping my aim was good, and flung it.

  It clipped Sigvald’s shoulder and crashed to the floor. Oil poured from it, but at least the flame had gone out. Shadows darkened over half the cavern. Goon one pushed Malware aside then tackled him, pressing his forearm into Malware’s throat.

  There was no one left but me, and he needed help. I wouldn’t let him down. I darted around the sarcophagus and hurried to them. I threw myself at goon one. He yowled and tried to throw me off, but I gripped the back of his jacket and yanked. Adrenaline coursing through me, I roared like a lion protecting the pride. Rough hands snatched me by the waist, a
nd the jacket tore from my fingers. I screamed, kicking my feet, and hit something soft. Goon three dropped me and cupped his balls. Sucker. My new hiking boots were awesome.

  Malware and goon one rolled on the ground, colliding with another pillar. That was my opening. Scrambling to my feet, I looked forward to jamming my boot into goon one’s side, and probably his crotch too. I was so angry, I barely noticed goon three had recovered and charged me with murder in his eyes. Yikes! I squealed and tried to run from him, praying I didn’t wet my pants. I didn’t know what else to do.

  Goon three grabbed me from behind and clamped his hairy hand over my mouth. He spun me around. I aimed for his nuts again—if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it—but he shifted the family jewels away. Crap. The extra boost from the adrenaline faded as I wriggled, but Three tightened his hold. Goon two sat up and brushed at his chest. Blood from his gunshot wounds stained the stone floor, but he didn’t seem worse for the wear. He got to his feet and approached Mom.

  I squirmed in Three’s grip, slamming my head backward into his chin. His hand shifted, and I bit down on his fingers. The hair on his knuckles tickled my gums. Blech! But I couldn’t let go. I growled in my throat, letting him know I meant business. He hollered, pushed the barrel of a gun to my temple, and spoke in a language that sounded boxy with rough edges. I took the hint and spat his hand out.

  “Please—” I gasped. A gun against my head did wonders for the fight or flight instinct. “Please don’t kill me.”

  Malware rammed his fist into goon one’s side until his hold shifted from Malware’s shoulders. He twisted his legs and rolled the goon over face-first to the ground and pinned him.

  The smell of rotting vegetables wafted from Sigvald once more. Goon two retrieved zip ties and bound Mom’s hands and feet. She had to be alive if they were tying her up, right? Her chest rose and fell, but it didn’t comfort me. I shook like a leaf, and hot tears slipped down my cheeks.

  Goon one struggled under Malware, who fought to get a chokehold. They were evenly matched, but since I was nearby, my bad luck was probably making things more difficult. Goon three pushed me around the sarcophagus as Sigvald gestured at Malware. Frost layered his clothing and crusted his hair, and his skin took on an alarming shade of blue.

  Malware froze. Goon one shoved him stiffly to the side.

  “Malware!” I surged for him, my breath catching in my throat. Oh, god. Let him be okay. He deserves better than this.

  The goon held on. My sleeves rode up my arms the more I struggled.

  “So.” Sigvald faced me, and the smell faded. “Who are you?”

  “We t-t-told you.” Malware’s teeth chattered as he rolled to his back. The tips of his fingers were dark with frostbite. “A human.”

  My knees loosened, and I would’ve fallen to the floor if goon four hadn’t held me up. Malware was still alive. I hadn’t been sure. And now I was crying harder than before. I was utterly useless right now. Goon one retrieved zip ties from his utility belt and bound Malware’s hands and feet.

  Sigvald approached me and yanked one of my hands forward, my sleeve riding up to my elbow. “I almost believed you, lightlighter. But she has gold burns. Bad ones.”

  I cringed at his touch. Goon three backed away and joined his buddies.

  “You came here to wish for your freedom. You stole my bone?” Sigvald gazed at the coffin. “But no. The sarcophagus isn’t open, so you couldn’t have used my bone.” His darkened nails scraped over my wrist bones as he caressed my scarred skin. “Someone used all their wishes to free you. Amazing! Who would use all their wishes to free a djinni?”

  “Who’d want to be a master?” I asked instead.

  Sigvald gripped my chin, his nails digging in my cheeks. “I have been master to eighteen djinnis, and never once have I entertained freeing them. I stole all their power. You must be special. What powers do you have?”

  “Nothing good.” My heart raced. I couldn’t breathe, I kept sucking in air, but none of it seemed to help.

  “Do you know that every djinni I’ve consumed said the very same thing?”

  I gulped, and black spots floated in front of my eyes. I was going to pass out, then this supervillain would suck me dry of my djinni power. Even if it was bad luck, it still wouldn’t be good if he had it.

  “Maybe I should just bottle you for later?” Sigvald smiled, showing off perfect white teeth.

  I whimpered. “No, please.”

  “Leave her alone!” Malware sat up, leaning against the pillar. While he wasn’t as blue with cold as before, he was still zip-tied and couldn’t do much to help.

  I darted a look at Mom’s prone body, hoping she was awake to help me. She wasn’t.

  “Ah. I see the resemblance now. Goldie is your… sister?” He squinted at me. “No, mother.”

  Sigvald held out his hand. Do they have djinni shackles? Am I going to get bottled again? My stomach lurched, and I puked on my hiking boots. Some splattered Sigvald’s pants. He curled his lip. Goon three handed him zip ties and trained his gun on me. My eyes zigzagged between the gun and the zip ties. They definitely weren’t gold, thank goodness, but tied up was still tied up. I’ve watched Taken; I knew I needed to make my hands as big as possible. So I clenched them into fists and held them side by side when the supervillain attempted to restrain me.

  Sigvald laughed, forced my fingers open, and slapped my palms together. “Nice try.” He bound my ankles too, then shoved me to the ground.

  I inch-wormed to Malware. He was closest, and I could at least help him warm up. The tips of his ears and nose were discolored. I cupped his face, trying to keep all my worry at bay over how much pain he must be in. Ice clung to his lashes and frost to his cheeks, even in the cleft of his chin. I gently wiped it away as best as I could, and whispered, “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

  “You t-too,” he chattered.

  Placing my back against the pillar, I grasped one of his freezing hands between mine, pushed our hands into my lap, and he snuggled into me. I shivered from the cold soaking through my sweatshirt.

  Mom groaned, and Sigvald crouched over her. He smacked her cheeks a few times until her eyes fluttered open. She jerked from him, and he hauled her to her feet by her bound hands.

  “You betrayed me for your daughter,” Sigvald said. “Don’t shake your head. I know the truth. I can respect a mother’s love for her child. Just this once. Fuck me over again, and I’ll eat you alive.”

  He shoved her aside, and Mom crashed to the floor. She crawled to me, far faster and better than I had done. Malware shuddered and shifted closer to me, resting his head on my shoulder. His cold nose pressed against my neck. Sigvald reached into his utility belt and retrieved a sphere. It looked like boxwork, but I wasn’t certain. He approached the sarcophagus and placed the ball on the lid. Stone grated on stone, and the sarcophagus lid shifted to the side.

  Sigvald chuckled, and goons one through four shuffled closer. “It’s still here.”

  The goons stepped away, then Sigvald reached in and removed a bone. He brandished it at us, a strange gleam in his eyes. “I can feel tremendous power… ha-ha! More in this little finger than I’ve ever felt before.”

  He lifted the finger bone high as the air took on an oily texture. A phantom of dark smoke and dust whirled from the tip, a ghastly face shaded in gray.

  “You hold the power of Rasputin in your hands, djinni,” the shade rasped. “One wish is yours to command.”

  Sigvald took a deep breath. “I wish for unlimited power!”

  “Wish granted.” The phantom-smoke churned and the shape of an apothecary bottle emerged. “To wield the power of Rasputin is no easy task. Before you can attain unlimited power, you must find another of my bones and wish for freewill within three moonrises, or you will be bottled.”

  The bone disintegrated to dust, and the phantom disappeared, along with my wish to break my bad luck curse.

  “What? No!” Blood drained from Sigvald’s face, his scar a d
ark blemish. He whirled on us and pointed. “You said the bones granted anything I’d wish for!”

  Mom shrugged. “Sounds like you’ve got three nights to find another bone. Good luck with that.”

  “Yeah.” My teeth chattered. “Good luck.”

  “Makes sense,” Malware said through clenched teeth. “Bottled djinnis have unlimited power. You won’t get that until you wish for your freedom. Time’s ticking.”

  “Sir.” Goon two held out a piece of paper to Sigvald. “I found this in the casket.”

  Sigvald unrolled it, his eyes darting over the paper. He tucked it into one of his many pockets, a grin curling his lips. “A clue for the next bone. Thanks for the well-wishes of luck, friends. It helped.” He turned to his goons. “Let’s move.”

  “What about them?” Goon three rubbed his hairy knuckles. I could still make out my teeth marks. I glared at him. There was more where that came from.

  “Let them rot here for eternity. A small gift for the boon they gave me.”

  Sigvald and his goons climbed up the platform and left us there, bound and useless.

  “That was our last chance,” Mom whispered. “I don’t get it. I’ve never failed before. Your father and I always got what we went for.”

  “Teaming up with Frankie Avalon must’ve been legendary.” Malware shifted into a sitting position, but still leaned heavily against me.

  “It was always easy with him. Too easy, sometimes. But we had the best of luck, so it’s to be expected.” Mom sighed softly. “I had such high hopes for that bone.”

  “Well, I’m sorry I’m not Dad,” I snapped. Maybe that was why she wanted the bone—not only to break my curse, but to replace Dad’s luck so she could continue stealing artifacts.

  “That’s not what I meant, Lucy. I promised your dad I’d break your curse. I need to do this for you as much as I do for him.” She angled toward me. “Now, give me your hands. We gotta break these zip ties.”

  I released Malware’s hands and held mine out to her. “Well, he didn’t set fire to the place, so at least we don’t have to hurry.”